Barnes and Noble Blues
by CanoeingCutie
Summary: The Cullens go to Barnes and Noble looking for books and find something much scarier.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight.**

"Edward! Come quick!" Bella cried.

Edward came running to her side, along with all the other Cullens who were browsing for books at Barnes and Noble with them. In her hands, Bella held a thick, black book. She was trembling with fear and turning green around the gills.

"I think I'll be sick…" she moaned as she swayed back and forth. Alice caught her just before she crashed to the ground.

"I'll take her to the ladies' room," offered Alice, nervously. She scooped Bella up in her arms and dashed away, leaving Esme, Emmett, Edward, Carlisle, Jasper, and Rosalie to stare at the horrid creature disguised as a book.

"Wh- What is it?" whispered Esme who was clinging to Carlisle's arm.

"I don't know, dear. I just don't know."

Esme buried her face in Carlisle's chest and he rubbed her back reassuringly. She sobbed softly as Emmett crouched down before the monster. He pulled out a pen and poked it, managing to somehow flip it over. The Cullens gasped as they read the back. Emmett dropped the pen and reached out to touch it with his finger.

"No! Sweetheart, don't be a hero! You've got so much to live for!" hollered Rosalie as she flung herself at him in a desperate attempt to save him from the novel. It didn't work. He brushed her aside and once again reached for the book. He winced when he and the book made contact.

"It's…cold…" whispered Emmett.

He picked up the beast and held it away from himself in case it would hurt him. Carefully, he opened it and flipped to a random page. His mouth dropped open and his face showed naked fear. The rest of the Cullens watched worriedly as his eyes scanned over the text, growing larger with each paragraph.

"Sweet Jesus," he murmured finally, looking up from the page. "It can't be."

Emmett dropped the book and walked away in a dazed state. Rosalie followed close behind, trying to get his attention.

"Honey? Em? Blink if you can hear me. Emmett? Are you there? Hello?"

The four remaining Cullens leaned forward and peered at the thick book. Not one of them dared to touch it – they were too afraid it'd turn them into zombies like Emmett. Jasper mustered up all the courage he could and took it in his shaking hands. His blond hair swept before his eyes creating a curtain so none of the others could see his expression. After a few silent moments he gasped and shot his head up, looking directly at Edward.

"Brother…I-I-I don't kn-know you anymore," he stammered. He hung his head and trudged over to Esme for a much needed hug.

Edward didn't understand. What was going on? What drove his brothers to act so strangely? Desperate to find out, he took a deep breath and picked up the book. He opened it to the middle and read silently.

"What the-"

Edward's heart filled with panic and he quickly slammed the book shut. It wasn't possible! How could the book be so frightening? For the first time he studied the cover and his pale face drained to white. The book was all black and on the front were two arms holding an apple. Above them was a single word – Twilight.

**A/N: That's it for now. Please review! I might put up another chapter, but only if people review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: The day I own Twilight is the day my dog becomes the inventor of toaster strudel. I seriously don't own it.**

"No…no…" Edward whimpered as he numbly stumbled over to his shocked father, Carlisle.

"Son," he said. "What's in that book?"

He gripped Edward's trembling shoulders and studied his face. Edward's appearance was like that of a ghost's. His eyes were frantic and his face was so white it could scare a third grader. Edward looked up into his father's eyes nervously.

"Our lives."

Carlisle's brow furrowed as he tried to comprehend what Edward had just told him. "Our lives?" he echoed.

Edward nodded gravely. Still confused, Carlisle reached out for the book Edward was clutching to his chest. Edward tightened his grip on the cover and jerked Carlisle's hand off his shoulder.

"Please don't read it," he begged. "Please. I couldn't do that to Bella. She'd be humiliated."

Carlisle understood and nodded his head. He still wasn't quite sure what was in the book, but whatever it was must've been the story of Edward and Bella's relationship. It was the only logical explanation he could think of. Edward turned his head and sighed in relief. Alice and Bella were returning from the bathroom.

"Hi," Bella mumbled timidly. She stood next to Edward who kissed her cheek. Jasper gasped and shook his head.

"Brother…you have such control," he murmured. "I don't know if I could do that to Alice if her blood were as tempting."

Bella blushed and shot a nervous look at Edward. "He read it?" she asked in horror. Edward nodded.

"Emmett, too. He still hasn't come back…he didn't take it too well."

This only made Bella blush deeper, causing Jasper to groan. "I don't see how you control yourself. She's so tempting and you're just standing there. You truly are remarkable."

Edward glared at Jasper, silently cursing at him for torturing Bella at a time like this. Thankfully, the tension was broken by Emmett, who returned with Rosalie dragging him over.

He was dripping wet, but at least he was out of his zombie state. Rosalie had followed him out of the store and over to a pond. Emmett was unaware of where he was and had marched right in with a family of ducks. The water had woken him up and he came back to the store, with the help of Rosalie because he couldn't remember where he'd come from.

"Hey," he greeted his disoriented family. The water dripping from his curly, black hair formed a squishy puddle beneath his feet. This seemed to catch the family's attention and they all stared at Emmett.

"You're all wet," observed Bella.

"Uh…yeah. Let's not get into that just now," he suggested. "We should probably do something about this book."

Emmett was desperate to get the attention off himself and it seemed to work. All the other Cullens began brainstorming ways to rid the world of the book.

"We can't let anyone else see it. They'd know all about vampires and we'd sink back into the Dark Ages. Everyone would be hunting us down again," Carlisle said. Esme shuddered and hugged him.

"Maybe if we bought every copy in the store and hid them in our house," she proposed.

Alice shook her head. "There'd still be copies all over the world."

Everyone stood for a while, trying to come up with anything at all that might help. Finally, Emmett spoke up with a rather barbaric plan.

"I say we burn it," he recommended as he shook pond water and algae out of his hair. "We could torch every copy we lay our hands on. We'd wipe out half the copies in the world, then people might stop buying them and no one would know this ever happened."

Bella nearly fell over when she heard Emmett say this. "Emmett!" she hollered. "How can you say that?" Bella was appalled just by the idea of harming anything that had to do with books. She burst into tears – this had been a very trying day for her – and beat her fists against Emmett's stone chest.

"Simmer down, Bella," Edward pleaded. He dropped the book and hugged her, despite the fact that she was still trying to attack Emmett. She managed to calm down and snuggled closer to Edward which, once again, caused Jasper to groan.

"Seriously, brother, how can you be so close to her when she's so delicious and appetizing and sweet and delectable and tempting and mouth watering and tasty and luscious and scrum-"

"STOP! You're scaring her!" Edward growled. He took a step closer to Jasper but tripped over the book he'd dropped in front of Bella. She looked down at the demon that'd tripped her boyfriend and realized it was open to the back cover – the author's page.

"You guys," she said, grinning slyly. "I've got a _great_ plan."

**A/N: I hope you liked my second chapter. I got soooo many reviews for the first chapter, you guys are so nice! Um…I don't really now what to say, the number of reviews kinda left me speechless. That's more than I've ever gotten on ANY story! Please keep reviewing; I'll try my best to get the next chapter up soon. Thanks!**

**Love – Canoeing Cutie**


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLIAMER: I _really_ don't own Twilight._ Really, really, REALLY!_**

**A/N: Sorry that I haven't updated in awhile. I know I said I'd get to it as soon as possible but I'm just too lazy. About the ending of last chapter: NO, people I'm NOT going to KILL Stephenie Meyer. That would be wrong. I don't even care if this is a total spoiler for the rest of this story; it's just not going to end that way. **

Bella eagerly led the Cullens to a dark, deserted section of Barnes & Noble to tell them her plan. The plan was genius. It was complicated, but it was genius. She quietly explained each intricate step to the vampires and they soon were entranced in her ideas.

"It's brilliant!" marveled Emmett who was leaning against a shelf of Sci-Fi novels and getting all the books wet with his still dripping hair. "We can use all our abilities to our advantage. Stephenie Meyer won't know what hit her."

Edward cringed at Emmett's words. "Hopefully we won't have to hit _anyone_, Emmett. We just want to get it done without causing too much harm." Edward yanked at Emmett's arm to get him away from the soggy books.

"Right, right; that's what I meant." Edward gave Emmett's arm one last tug and he stumbled away from the shelf and into Bella.

"Oof!" exclaimed Bella who was falling to the ground. Edward moved with his vampire speed to catch her just before she hit the floor. He set her back on her feet and snaked his marble arm around her waist protectively.

"Sorry, Bella," apologized Emmett who was grinning sheepishly. "Maybe we should go somewhere else…somewhere less public to discuss this."

Everyone nodded and headed out the door, forgetting about the copy of Twilight that had been flung out of Bella's arms when Emmett collided with her. It laid on the ground, open to chapter nine – the chapter when Bella told Edward that she thought he was a vampire. The Cullens were out of Barnes & Noble before they could see a boy hunched over the book on the floor, reading it.

The Cullens drove back to their mansion with one goal in mind – to find out more about the mysterious author who knew too much about their lives. Thanks to the wonderful internet (and Carlisle's laptop,) they were able to access Stephenie Meyer's website. What they didn't expect to learn was that their story was more interesting to the world than they'd thought.

"Edward! Oh my God, this is horrible; they're making a _movie_ about us!"

Bella was sitting on a big couch in the living room, going through Ms. Meyer's website while the others sat in the kitchen figuring out how to go on with Bella's scheme. Though she'd said this quietly, Edward's sensitive ears heard her perfectly. He was by her side in and instant, frowning in disbelief.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

Bella nodded fervently and pointed at the computer's screen. Edward read silently, only making noise to curse beneath his breath. "Holy crap…" he murmured. "We have to act fast, this is much worse than I thought."

He took the laptop from Bella and went through the website, looking for anything important that may lead them to Stephenie Meyer. He found her bio and grinned devilishly.

"Bella, look at this," he commanded. She looked over his shoulder at Ms. Meyer's bio.

"What, Edward?"

Edward pointed to the section marked "Unofficial Bio". Bella read through the biography, all the way to the bottom. The bio worked perfectly with their plan and gave them just the information they needed – Stephenie Meyer had five siblings.

**A/N: I'm really excited for the next chapter; I'm planning to put one of my favorite characters from the book in there. He has a really small part in Twilight (he's only mentioned twice!) but I love him. If anyone can guess who he is I'll give you a prize!**

**Love – Canoeing Cutie**


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight.**

**A/N: Hi again. No one really guessed who the mystery character was (though some people got pretty close) so I want to give you guys a second chance at guessing. Just a hint: he was in Bella's Biology class in the first book, but he was only mentioned for it in chapter 5. And I'll say it once again – I'M NOT KILLING STEPHENIE MEYER! Enough already!**

Edward dropped Bella off in front of her house reluctantly. There was still so much to plan before they continued with their scheme, but in order to move forward in the process they had to deal with the one person standing in their way – Charlie. Even without reading his mind Edward knew he didn't trust him. He watched from the cab of his car as Bella entered the house.

"Hey, Dad," she greeted. Charlie looked up from his plate of leftover pasta that he was eating at the kitchen table.

"Oh hey, Bells! How was your day with the Cullens?"

Bella slipped into the seat across from him, forcing a weak smile. "Just fine. We went to Barnes and Noble then went back to their mansion for awhile."

Never mind the part where they stumbled across a demon book written about them and had to make a plan to erase it from the face of the Earth. Charlie didn't need to know about that minor detail. He went back to chewing his pasta, satisfied with her answer.

"So…Dad," Bella began, ready to unleash the next phase in their plan on her unsuspecting father. "The Cullens invited me to go on a trip with them to California next weekend. Is that okay?"

Charlie looked up from his meal. "California? What's in California?"

"The sun, for one thing. They know I really miss the nice, sunny weather so they offered to take me with."

Charlie grimaced as he thought about Edward alone with Bella for an entire weekend. He still didn't trust that boy, and Bella could tell.

"Uh, Dad, why don't you just call Carlisle for the details? I'm sure I'd be in good hands with the Cullens," she said.

Charlie nodded then left his plate of food to go find the phone. Bella took this opportunity to run up to her room. Charlie still didn't know everything, though. Before leaving the Cullens' mansion the vampire family had decided to tell Charlie they'd go to California when really they'd be in Arizona hunting down Stephenie Meyer's siblings. Bella plopped down on the chair in front of her slower-than-molasses computer to turn it on. It'd been a while since she'd written to Renee; her mother no doubt had sent a flood of e-mail asking how she was.

Except for the _clack-clacking_ of the keyboards keys as Bella typed, her room was completely silent. Suddenly a small song rang through the air. Bella found her new cell phone in her pocket, buzzing and ringing to indicate a call.

"Hello?" she asked, putting the small phone to her ear.

"Bella, it's me," said a low voice on the other line. It didn't sound like Edward, or any of the other Cullens.

"Um…who is this?"

"You don't remember me, Bella? I was in your Biology class last year."

"Sorry, but it'd really help if you told me your name," Bella said, beginning to panic a little.

"There's no time for that!" the voice on the other line groaned. "I need to tell you something. It's about Barnes and Nobles; I think you should know about this book I found-"

"Bella? Are you in here?"

The voice on the other line stopped. Charlie was coming up the stairs, looking for Bella.

"Listen, Bells, I just talked to Carlisle and we agreed it was okay for you to go to California," Charlie called from somewhere in the hall.

"Is that your dad? Sorry, I have to go," the voice said.

"Wait! Don't go; I don't even know who you are."

Bella heard the click of a phone being set down in its cradle and knew the mystery caller had hung up. But his words still played in her head. This day just kept getting worse – someone knew about the book.

**A/N: Keep the reviews coming. I really love them! **

**Love – Canoeing Cutie**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey i'm back!!! heh heh, bet you thought i was dead...or in a coma...or something of the sort...Well anyway, i'm alive and well. Here's the next chappie. YESS! By the way, the contest is over. The mystery man is LEE STEPHENS! You have to love him, his character has so much potential. Anyway, the winners will recieve their prize - a preview of my new story which remains untitled (at the moment) - in a pm from either me or my sister. If you can think of a good title for it i'm all ears, so please send feedback!!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight, or the airport, or Phoenix, or anything mentioned below. **

Phoenix, Arizona – The Valley of the Sun. The place for anyone who loves warm, dry weather and busy city life. It was heaven on Earth for Bella Swan as her plane landed at Sky Harbor International Airport – the same place her life had changed one year ago. The anxiety sent shivers down her spine. She couldn't wait to be back and see the beautiful palm trees, the short, rocky ridges not quite big enough to qualify as mountains, the big eucalyptus tree in her backyard, or the graveyard of plants by the mailbox in her mother's Scottsdale home.

Bella could almost imagine herself running home from ballet class at the dance studio around the corner as a little girl, eager to see her mother kneeling by the mailbox and digging through the dry soil bed of dying flowers. Her mother sure had a green thumb…a green thumb for planting weeds! The thought made Bella chuckle. It would be nice for a change to visit Arizona without the stress of a life-or-death situation weighing down on her back. She smiled; glad to be back home without that pressure of such a dire situation. The smile faded, though. Bella Swan was still in a dire situation, this time it wasn't her life at stake; it was her reputation.

Bella was pulled from her reverie when her small phone started to ring its familiar tune. She pulled it out of her pocket and held it close to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Bella! I'm so glad I could reach you. Listen, there's something really urgent I have to tell you –"

"Who IS this?!" Bella asked in alarm, nearly dropping the phone to the airplane floor. It was the same mystery man who'd called her before.

"Bella! I told you, it's urgent and I have no time to listen to unimportant . . . stuff! I'm serious! There's this book and. . . ."

Edward reached across his seat to nudge Bella's shoulder. "Bella, it's time to get off the plane," he said.

Bella looked up and sure enough passengers were filing out of the plane. "Listen," she said into the small phone. "I have to go now. _Please_ don't call again, unless you'll tell me who on Earth you are."

"Wait, wait, wait!!!" the mystery man cried. Bella slammed the phone shut and walked off the plane with Edward.

Hundreds of miles away, back in Forks, Washington; a teenage boy sat in his room and slammed his fists against a desk in frustration. He was average looking: sandy, short hair, caramel eyes, and pale, freckled skin. But there was nothing average about him. He was the same mystery man who'd been trying futilely for weeks to contact Bella Swan. He was Lee Stephens.

SC SC SC SC SC SC SC scene change SC SC SC SC SC SC SC

The busy terminal was all too familiar to the Cullens and Bella. It was eerie being there and seeing everything they'd seen a year ago through fresh eyes. It didn't seem near as packed now, or near as intimidating. Still, the vampire family wanted to get out of there fast. They'd taken a night flight so they wouldn't have to suffer the ordeal of dodging shadows.

The Cullens and Bella wound their way through the people in the airport to get to the sidewalk outside. Once there, they hailed a taxi – which wasn't difficult with their maddening good looks – and drove twenty minutes to Scottsdale. The cabbie didn't seem to mind, but then again he _was_ sitting next to Rosalie. The others, however, had to squeeze into the back seat together. Alice sat on Jasper's lap, Bella on Edward's, Esme on Carlisle's, and poor Emmett had to lie on the floor of the car.

The taxi finally pulled up in front of Bella's house. Everyone pried themselves out of the crammed back seat and even had to yank Emmett who'd gotten stuck being wedged between the floor and seat. But they did get out. The Cullens and Bella stood before fifty-eight twenty-one, the house Bella had grown up in.

Bella was overwhelmed with emotion. There was the porch she'd played house on with the neighborhood girls, the window she'd broken when she tripped in the bathroom and flung her razor hurtling towards the window, and the shady patch of grass beneath her favorite tree where she'd read hundreds of books as a kid.

She walked slowly towards the door, feeling as if it had been centuries since she'd last set foot in that comforting house. Then, like the true klutz that she was, she tripped over a mere sheet of paper lying in her path.

"What the heck?!" she exclaimed after picking herself up. Esme fluttered around her in alarm, looking for bruises. She patted Bella's shoulder.

"Honey, you fell," she said, stating the obvious. Rosalie rolled her eyes. She was bored of Bella's less than human balance.

Rosalie wandered down the road a bit, chasing the light blue paper that tripped Bella. The wind picked it up in the air and it went sailing and whirling through the sky, carving a delicate path to dance across. It twirled and spun like a ballerina, lingering on the tip of the sky then floating back down to Earth.

Rosalie had no patience for paper ballet. She snatched the nuisance of a thing and calmly read it. "You guys,"

No one heard her. She tried again, "You _guys!_"

Still no one heard her. They were helping Bella get to her feet. Rosalie sighed then spoke one last time. "_HEY!!_"

It got their attention. Suddenly seven pairs of curious eyes turned to look at her.

"This," she smiled, waving the blue flyer. "Is exactly what we need for the next phase of our plan."

The blue paper was indeed the key to opening the tricky portal of thievery that was their next plan. The plan was devious and daring. It required much preparation and plenty of bold vampires to carry out the dangerous acts to come. If they wanted any chance of fulfilling this tremendous deed, then they'd need something like the blue paper to guide them.

The vampires looked at the flyer. There was a scratchy picture of a real estate agent, a thin, muscular man with a wide grin and thick brown hair cut short just above his ears. He had a pair of wire frame glasses perched atop his nose and the name _Christiaan Meyer _written directly beneath the photograph.

The Cullens smiled devilishly after reading the flyer. Mr. Meyer was holding an open house for a new house built on the plot of land where the dance studio had burned down. Suddenly, the Cullens were _very_ interested in purchasing a new house.

**A/N: I'm sorry for all the _LIES _i had to say about Ms. Meyer's family. I doubt her husband, Pancho, is a real estate agent, but if he is i'm the luckiest son of a bitch i know. Er...daughter of a bitch? Note to self - keep the cussing to a minimal around the viewers...right...**

**P.S. my apologies in advance to _I Heart Edward _and _E.C + B.S, _i can't give you your prizes because of your anonymous reviews. If you give me your email addresses i can send them to you so give me a pm or something becuase i'd hate to not reward you guys.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This chapter has a lot of Lee in it. Like I said, I love that guy! He should definitely have a bigger part so I'm giving him a chance. He'll have a major part in my next story, too. **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own ****Twilight****. The super awesome-ly amazing MS. MEYER does.**

Bella stood before the massive building, gaping at the intricate architecture decorating nearly every square inch of the lovely home. Had this beautiful house really been built only a year ago, after her accident with James and Victoria? It was marvelous beyond words. No one would ever find as gorgeous a house in her dreary town of Forks.

"Come on, Bella, we don't want to be late for the Open House," Edward reminded her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and the two of them followed Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper into the house.

The Cullens immediately began the next phase of their plan. They broke off into pairs to view the house. If Pancho Meyer was really the real estate agent they thought he was, the day would end wonderfully for the vampire family of sleuths.

Esme and Carlisle wandered up to the second floor bedrooms. Even though the rooms captivated them, they couldn't let their guard down, not for a second. They soon found themselves entranced by the rooms, though, and began seriously considering buying the house, even though they couldn't use it during the day. They were spiraling down the exact path they'd hoped not to. There was NO WAY they were going to buy this house but…it had such beautiful rooms!

"Hello there! Welcome to the Open House, I'm Christiaan Meyer. How do you like the house so far?" asked a cheerful voice.

Esme and Carlisle spun around. The exact man from the brochure was standing before them in a blue button down shirt and green tie. The two vampires pulled the recently-married-happy-couple card and gave him their award winning smiles.

"I'm Ca…Carl, and this is my new wife, Emily," Carlisle fibbed in an overly zealous voice. Esme smiled and nodded, beaming at her husband. Pancho bought ever bit of it. They had the poor man in the palm of their hands.

"Well, Carl, Emily, let me show you the kitchen. It's very spacious and inviting," Pancho suggested, beginning to lead them downstairs.

"Actually, sir," Esme called. "I was wondering about the closets. How big are they? Could you please show us?" She and Carlisle smiled eagerly.

"Well I guess I could. We have a lovely walk in closet in the master suite if you'd be interested in that one first."

"Oh yes," Carlisle grinned, the venom thick in his voice. "We'd be _very_ interested."

Poor, innocent Pancho then led the two vampires to the closet and closed the door, stepping directly into their intricately planned trap.

SC SC SC SC SC SC SC scene change SC SC SC SC SC SC SC

Lee Stephens sat on his bed, reading a beat up, annotated copy of Twilight. He read silently, underlining a sentence every now and then or taking a bite of cold pizza from the pizza box on his pillow. He was working hard. He had no time for nonsense; he had to save his friend's reputation. He was on a mission, he was too determined to quit now. He'd been working diligently for weeks. Lee needed to finish this book, he had to get to the last sentence to save Bella. He'd come so far! He–

"LEEEEEE!!!"

Lee shot up in his bed, knocking the box of pizza and the book to the ground.

"LEE! LEE! LEEEE!!!"

A small girl's voice pierced through his pleasant silence. It was the worst sound on the face of the Earth. It was the voice of his nine year old sister, Abbie.

Abbie stomped up the carpeted stairs to Lee's room and pounded her little fists on the door. For such a small girl, Abbie made as much noise as a ferocious giant. Lee quickly cleaned up the mess of pizza on the floor before Abbie grew impatient and barged into the room, bouncing on his bed and crushing his poor, defenseless pillow.

"Abbie! Get out of my room!" Lee hollered. Abbie ignored him. She just kept jumping like a spring on his messy bed.

"Abbie, when will you grow up? I'm serious, get out of my room NOW," Lee commanded as he watched his fireball of energy sister bounce gleefully, her sandy pigtails bobbing against her freckled cheeks. Abbie was the only third grader Lee knew that still enjoyed jumping on beds and having tea parties with her big brother.

"Aw, come on Lee-Lee! Let's have a party. We'll have a grand one with ding dongs and ho hos and those yummy fruit pies that hostess makes."

She was also the only third grader with plans to die before she reached the age of ten.

"Listen, Abs, you know I'd love to but I'm really busy and-"

"I know, I know, you have to read that fruity book. God, Lee, you can be such a pansy sometimes."

"This coming from the girl who watches _Dr. Who_ every Saturday," Lee retorted.

Abbie stuck out her tongue before springing from the bed and landing gracefully by Lee's ankles. She snatched his tattered book and darted out of the room faster than an NFL quarterback.

"ABBIE!!!" Lee cried, chasing her out of the room and down the stairs. "Abbie Meghan Stephens!!! Give me that book right now!!!"

He followed her to the kitchen, then the family room, then the living room, all the way back to the kitchen where Abbie took a speeding halt behind her mother's back. Lee stumbled trying to catch himself and crashed into the kitchen counter with a thud. Mrs. Stephens rolled her eyes at her foolish son. She was an extremely successful lawyer with no patience for teenage shenanigans.

"Abbigail, Leland," she began. Lee cringed. He hated his real name almost as much as he hated milk. And he hated milk _very_ much. "As you both know we'll be going to look at summer houses this weekend in Arizona, so please be on your very best behavior. Your father and I have worked very hard to save up enough money for a decent vacation home and it's important to us that you both act your age when we get to Phoenix. Is that clear?"

˝Yes Ma'am," Abbie and Lee responded in unison.

"Good. Now go upstairs and pack. Our flight is this afternoon, of course."

**A/N: Contest winners: Prize coming soon, please give me time to send it out. I still need some e-mail addresses from those who reviewed anonymously. (Hope i spelled that right, hate that word...) Also, fanfic is being stupid lately and i'm not sure what happened, but i don't think my chapter showed up last time...did it? Cuz when i checked it wasn't on any of the pages. Is that just me? Urg, someone help me!**

**Canoeing Cutie**


	7. Chapter 7

**DICLIAMER: Don't own it and i never will.**

**A/N: Mr. Meyer's _real_ name is Christiaan, though everyone calls him "Pancho". See Stephenie Meyer's bio on her websites for more details.**

While Carlisle and Esme lured Pancho Meyer into their devious trap, Jasper and Alice sat in the kitchen waiting for their part in the plan to begin. They were patient, but anxious for a sign of anything. Success, failure, anything that would show that the rest of the family was making progress. It was when they were about to get up and enter a new room when someone joined them in the kitchen.

"Hello," called a friendly voice. Alice looked over her shoulder to see a tall man in a Gibson guitar tee shirt leaning against the doorframe. He was smiling pleasantly, but Alice could tell right then and there that they wouldn't be friends for long. The man leaning against the doorframe was Ms. Meyer's brother – Paul.

"Jasper!" she hissed beneath her breath. She was sure the man couldn't hear. Only fellow vampires could hear her speak with such speed and such a quiet voice. "What are we going to do? He wasn't part of the plan! He's not even supposed to be here!"

"Relax, Alice," assured Jasper with a mischievous gleam in his amber eyes. "Just follow my lead. When I give you the signal spill juice on the floor and leave to clean it up. When you do, get Rosalie and Emmett. You'll know what to do from there."

Alice nodded then turned back to smile at Paul.

"Hello! I'm Ali and this is my brother Casper," she chirped sweetly. Paul stepped forward to join her at the counter.

"Hi, I'm Paul. Are you here alone?" He sounded concerned that two teenaged kids should be visiting a big house alone. Seriously, what if they were pyromaniacs or schizzos?

"Oh no," Jasper said, shaking his head. "Our parents are here upstairs. Are you thirsty? Ali, pour him some juice."

That's when he gave the signal. He winked at her and Alice knew then that he meant for her to spill the juice. Alice grabbed a carton of Minute Maid sitting on the counter next to other various snacks like cheese cubes and crackers and reached for a cup.

"Oh here, let me do that. I wouldn't want to be a burden," offered Paul.

"No no, it's okay. I've got it," Alice assured him. Paul reached for the juice anyway. Alice tugged the juice back and the carton ripped, exploding into a mess of cardboard shreds, pulp, and juice on the floor.

"Oops!" she exclaimed. "Clumsy me. Let me go find some paper towel to clean that up."

With that Alice got up and left Paul standing in the middle of the room with Jasper, startled and bewildered as to what had just happened.

"Silly Ali!" Jasper cried after a _loooong_ awkward silence, slapping the palm of his hand to his forehead. "She does that so often. That girl doesn't know her own strength."

Paul nodded and shoved his hands deep into pockets of his cargo shorts. He looked like he didn't want to be there, like he'd rather be somewhere else, say a rock concert or monster truck rally. Heck, even a Laundromat would do! Paul hated open houses, but Stephenie would be there soon and he had something important to tell her about the next book…

"What the –"

Suddenly there was a sharp jerk on Paul's shoulders and before he knew it he was airborne. Someone or…_many_ some ones were carrying him briskly through the labyrinth of rooms inside the house.

"Hey! Put me down!" he hollered. Colors _whoos_hed past his face and he felt like he was racing down a waterfall. Paul also had a strange sensation that he'd be seeing his dinner sometime very soon. The some ones were taking him outside, into the dark. They tossed him onto the grass of the front yard. Paul scrambled to his feet and spun around to face the psychos that had taken him on that roller coaster ride from Hell. There were three of them: two girls and a boy.

The boy was tall with curly brown hair and the scariest bands of muscle wrapping his arms that Paul had ever seen. Paul made a mental note not to get on the kid's bad side, but with a sickening twist in his gut he realized that he was already on his hit list. The girls were incredibly different. The first was a tall, slender blond who looked like she belonged more on a runway than at Pancho's Open house. The next was short with spiky black hair and a pixie face. In fact, she seemed remarkably familiar…it was that clumsy girl from the kitchen! Hadn't she gone to get something to clean up the juice?

"Hey you're…you're that girl!" Pancho wailed, feeling stupider than ever for falling for her trap. "What's going on? WHO ARE Y–"

Alice raced forward with such blinding speed that Paul didn't see her until she reappeared before him. She clamped her hand down over his mouth hard.

"Shush up if you know what's good for you," she hissed beneath her breath. Paul nodded with a panicked look in his eyes. Her hands were cold on his mouth and shivers rippled down his spine. Hands weren't supposed to be that cold, were they? And this girl seemed unusually pale; her skin almost seemed to illuminate the night. In fact, all three of his abductors had glowing, fair skin. And it wasn't just the girl from the kitchen who seemed familiar…Paul had a feeling that he knew all three of them from some other place, some other time.

Then it hit him. These three people were just like the characters out of his sister, Stephenie's book! How peculiar that he'd meet them at Pancho's Open house, weren't they supposed to live several states away in Forks or Spoons where it always rained and never showed sun…holy crap that made them vampires!!!

Paul's eyes bulged and he looked frantically from face to face. Weren't they supposed to be _fictional?! _Fictional characters didn't come to life, it just didn't happen! He started breathing erratically, on the verge of hyperventilation. The dark neighborhood was swaying violently, no _HE_ was swaying violently, about to crash to the ground. Right before he did two stone arms reached out and caught him. He was in the arms of the muscular boy and once again whooshing past colors and houses. He knew he was going too fast for humans, only airplanes could reach such powerful speeds as this scary looking kid, how did Stephenie's characters go from fiction to reality?!

Paul got very dizzy then. Maybe it was the speed Emmett was running at, maybe it was the near hyperventilation when he realized who his abductors were, or maybe it was a mix of the two. Either way, he began seeing fuzzy dark splotches covering his vision and was suddenly out like a light, cradled in Emmett's massive arms and still speeding off into the dark night.

**A/N: Heh heh...sorry 'bout _"abducting"_ Paul in this chapter. It's all very important, you'll see, and this was the most...reasonable(?) way to get him into the plot. There's still so much with Lee and Paul. I swear, it all works out in the end! p.s. it's my...**

**♥B I R T H D A Y♥**

**So be a pal and send me some love in a big, fat review! After all, reviews make the world go 'round. Aaah what a lovely brithday pressie it'd be, hint hint.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey guys. Hope you're all having a great end of summer reading ECLIPSE!!!!! Ms. Meyer came by my town but I was away at camp, I've been hitting myself over the head ever since!!! Now here's Chap. 8!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

Jasper was all alone in the kitchen. He'd witnessed Emmett sweep Paul off the ground and carry him out the door with the help of Rosalie and Alice. With nothing better to do now that Paul had been taken care of, he went to find the rest of his vampire family. First he wandered around the first floor. No luck. Next he tried the basement. Still no luck. Then Jasper heard a thumping noise coming from above his head. Either someone was practicing their clogging or he'd found Bella. Jasper crept silently up the stairs and peered into each empty room, searching for Bella.

"Bella?" he hissed. "BELLAAAA?"

"In here," a low, husky voice answered. Well _that_ wasn't Bella.

Jasper slipped into the room, oddly small and dark compared to the others. The light was off so he switched it on. Before him, lying on the ground with ropes tying his wrists and ankles together was Pancho Meyer. He looked frazzled. Who wouldn't be after being bound and gagged and left in a dark walk-in closet?

"Mr. Meyer? What are you doing here?" Jasper asked sinking to his knees.

"Two crazies, one a blond doctor and the other his caramel haired wife, lured me into this room and tied me up, saying they desperately needed to talk to someone I knew and that they'd be back as soon as they found some tape for my mouth. I've been here for ages! And they're still not back. But thank God you came, kid. Do me a favor and untie these ropes? They're _killing_ my hands and feet."

Jasper shook his head and rose back to his feet. "Sorry sir, but I really can't do that."

"Ah, I see you've met our son, Mr. Meyer."

Jasper looked over his shoulder and there was Carlisle waving a silver roll of tape in the air for Pancho to see. Pancho's jaw dropped as he realized the boy he'd been speaking to wasn't going to help him. In fact, more than likely he was in on this plan.

"Duct tape alright?" Carlisle asked. Pancho looked as if he might scream, but no noise came from his mouth. "Sorry to do this to you, but we promise to take the bindings off when we get back to our house."

Carlisle gave Pancho his award winning smile and then in one fluid movement knelt beside him and slapped a strip of tape across his mouth. "Just to make sure you don't cry out or anything."

"Would you carry him back to the house, Jasper?" Carlisle asked, patting Pancho reassuringly on the back and turning to face his son. Pancho looked anxiously from Carlisle to Jasper.

"Sure, Carlisle. I'll put him in the family room with Paul."

Carlisle raised his eyebrows in amazement. "Paul, too? This'll make getting to Ms. Meyer _much_ easier!"

"Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie took him back to the house already."

Rosalie…Emmett…Alice, Carlisle, Jasper…gears whirred in Pancho's mind as he made the connections. The names were all so familiar, like the characters in his wife's book. And the doctor, his wife, and their son all matched the character's descriptions. They were even in Phoenix where the protagonist came from. But there was no way these loonies could possibly be the real deal. Fiction doesn't just come to life! Pancho looked again from Carlisle's face to Jasper's. The amber eyes, pale skin, and dark, purple bags beneath their eyes were just like Stephenie had imagined. Maybe they were her characters…

Pancho didn't have much more time to think over what was going on because he was flung over Jasper's shoulder an instant later. The young man was walking out of the closet and down the stairs so lithely that Pancho didn't jostle or bounce the way any normal person would expect to. It was such an unusually smooth walking pattern, only a…vampire…could walk like that.

"Well son," Carlisle said as he followed Jasper down the winding staircase. "Esme is on her way to the house as we speak, and if the others are there let's go back right away."

"Yes, that sounds good. By the way, did you happen to see Bella or Edward at all?"

"No…I thought they were with you…"

**A/N: Sorry for such a short chapter. I feel like I'm rushing so much. Argh! The next one will be longer and less hurried I _PROMISE!_**


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